Full Month Party

p/s ~ another seriously back dated post

Zelyn's full month party was carried out in 2 sessions on 28 July 2012 (sat).

The 1st session luncheon was mainly for daddy's colleagues and relatives while the night dinner session for our friends. Nothing fanciful for the party but just a simple gathering to introduce Zelyn to everyone.

 

A big thank you to everyone for your precious time and generosity shown in your gifts and angpows. Do pardon us if we have not been good hosts and not taking any pictures with you.

Citizen

 

p/s ~ seriously backdated post

 

History repeating itself!

 

We took our own sweet time again before deciding on a geomancer to calculate her chinese name. Pulling our hair daily on the choice of her chinese name but somehow three of us are totally unspired. It was a dilemma to go for a geomancer since Zethan's chinese name is chosen on our own.

 

Anyhow after procrastinating, her birth was registered on 31 July, nearly one month after her birth and so Zelyn is no longer illegal and officially a Singapore Citizen!

Updates

gosh, my poor little lady had not had much of updates ever since her birth story and guess what, she is 5+ months already!

a quick glance through on her milestones if my limited memory served.

she slept through the night (sttn) at about 6 weeks, quite almost similar to Zethan and yes I count my blessings which helped heaps in coping with the no help period alone with 2 kids. Being able to sleep slightly longer (referring to myself) and even stealing some tiny bit of time for reading is great. Her last feed was pretty early like 10ish and she could slept through till 8-9am in the morning which does freaked me out. Imagine this young infant going without feeds for a whopping 10-11 hours, the naggy voice stayed behind my mind. Worrying get to me and at certain nights, I will dream feed her around the early part of the midnight. Even though she does sttn, it does not necessarily translate to hitting the sack early for mi. Cooking soup ready for lunch the next day, my last pump for the day and finally my well deserved shower set me back till 1+am, the earliest. After shower feeling refreshed, I will try to read abit (my only possible ME time), retiring to bed at about 2am on most days, the good days. I will have to wake up around 7am to dream feed her again before pumping then preparing Zethan for school.

She smiled loads starting from 5 weeks onwards and it is definitely easy peasy to make her flash her sweetest smile by simply smiling at her. Imagine how proud a mummy I can be whenever she flashes her sweet smile even at strangers talking to her and in turn received lots of compliments. Her ever readiness to smile just melt all my fatigue away and more often than not, find myself beaming away. Moments like this reminded myself on how worthwhile and fortunate it is to be a SAHM, experiencing first hand on all the teeny weeny details of the kids' growing up. Of course there are always bad moments but shall not go there now.

The young lady dislike being in her car restraint and quite unfortunately it translate to rejecting her stroller as well which is really frustrating. Determined as this mummy who is pretty stubborn, I started her on a 'training' routine to get her accustomed to the infant car seat. It does help that every morning she had to be in the stroller while we walked Zethan to school and most mornings if not all, she would be soundly asleep. Easy as it may sound but certainly it was a heart stopping exercise especially so when we are travelling in the car and she would whine when the car halt. No joking matter if happened to be caught in a traffic jam. Exercise still in progress at this point of time but she had improves leaps and bounds though ideally it can be much better.

 

It was so exciting that I did managed to catch her taking her first flip @ 4 mths 17 days on the 18th November. From flipping over and getting her arms caught under to currently an expert in flipping. All it take is 2 seconds and she is on her tummy but yet keep complaining within seconds too.

 

Oh did I mentioned that she started having milk strike since 3 mths old. Initially it was just taking longer time to feed so we upgrade her to M teats thinking the slow flow frustrate her thus longer feeding time. However it is not just as simple as that. Soon it became patting her on the bum to finish her feed then standing to feed then having to rock and swing her to feed! It just simply did not end here, it escalate further to having swing her till half asleep before she is willing to feed and it take as long as an hour to down her milk which leave my arms & back breaking after each feed. Can I self pity myself for the frustrating agony of having both children displaying milk strike symptoms?!

 

That's basically about all my memory can served. Will update as and when again!

Tough

Just when we thought the worst is going to be over very soon, the worst of the worst happened. A few days before when mum should be back to help, I was rudely awaken by a phone call in the early morning. Now usually when you do received calls in the early morning mean spells trouble and indeed bad news. As suddenly as it is, my brother called to inform me that he is at the emergency with my mum and she was critically ill now?!! Even though I had just slept less than an hour back, I was wide awake with a bad sunken feeling in the tummy. She is very very ill, was sedated, intubated and had to be admitted into CCU for further investigation and monitoring. Apparently she had a mild cardiac arrest last week and stubbornly refuse to heed our advice to undergo further test after going for an ECG at a GP. She is having signs of Pneumonia which explain the difficulty in breathing and puking out of huge amount of fluid upon admission to the emergency. Her condition deteriorate drastically in the 1-2 hours.  Huge panic waves washed over me but I told myself to calm down as it would not helped to panic since lots of thoughts flashed thru my mind, be positive, I reminded myself. Brief discussion with bro and instructed her with what's need to be done. Part of me had the rush to fly down but the other part of me was tied down with the 2 sleeping kids at home.

 

The next hour or so was unbearable, worried sick yet so helpless with no updates.by about 6am in the morning, I jumped at the rings of my mobilephone, the feeling sucks big time. The situation is so critical that we need to make the decision of having her go through Aniogram to investigate the cause. I had to request to speak to the doctor since bro wasn't giving me a good explanation of what is going on. It was suspected of either a blocked artery or probably heart disease. What's next was my question to the doctor. If blockage was pretty significant, they would abort the investigation and inform the surgeon to review for a bypass or if blockage goes under a certain percentage, stent insertion will be performed immediately. So what are the risks though its a minor surgery? She could probably suffered another cardiac arrest which is the worst case scenario. She is currently sedated for fear that she will struggle and pulled out the ventilator thus the discomfort or pain of the surgery will not be felt. My brain seem to be processing five thousands things at the same time and for a moment felt like I could not think straight. Helpless as we are, we decided to go ahead with his advice. Extreme fatigue fall upon me but this is absolutely impossible for me to fall asleep.

 

The next 2 hours was extremely tough and agonizing, pacing around the house, staring blankly into the air, nothing can be done, so uber helpless and all that can be done is to pray extremely hard that all goes well. The next call was form bro updating that the surgery is over and a whole artery is blocked and stent inserted. She is back in CCU and the next 24 hours will be critical even though the surgery is a success. As for recovery, it will be a long term process since the heart is much weaker than normal.

 

The morning whisked by with a very blank mind, not knowing what exactly am I doing. Next up would be arrangement to visit her but it's so challenging with 2 kids and no help, I rebuked the thought of bringing them especially for Zethan, do not wish to subject him to the traumatic sight. Very grateful to Zelyn's godma whom is able to help mind the 2 kids while we run to the hospital to get updates and get through the admission documentation. I had to mentally remind myself repeatedly to be prepared at the sight it is going to be, ventilated and hundreds of wires and equipment hooked onto her.

 

However hard I tried and prepared myself, I could only managed to step into the CCU, took a look at her and for the next 5 minutes absorbed the heart wrenching sight without breathing a word. It was such a rude shock and I could feel my head spinning. I had to step out to take a breather and try to ask and speak to the doctor on her updates and what to monitor and expect for the next few days. No committment on the recovery only to cite possible scenarios; critically the fluid in the lungs need to subside possibly taking a few days, reducing the sedation, getting off the ventilator and breathing on her own.

 

And as expected, the moment babe ask me to reenter and speak to her and assure her, I broke down immediately. I am certainly in a bad shape to speak to her and do not wish to being my negativities near her lest making her worry. I simply could not control my sobbing for the next few moments and was glad that he offered to talk to her instead. Afterwhich we stepped out with bro and discussed on the probable scenarios and what is to be expected, taking baby steps one thing at a time.

 

It was a relief that she was removed of the ventilator the next day in the night and was able to talk for a brief moment, we spoke on the phone. All I can do meanwhile was to go around praying for her recovery and safety, looking forward to seeing her back at home real soon. At the same time, the worrying does not stop. I was so badly traumatized by the series of events that I turn so jumpy when the phone rings for the next few days.

 

She was discharged after a good 5 days which felt like 5 long years and was back at home safely. The stress was built upon me having to care for her as well as the 2 kids with no help as per se. Everyday was more than hectic, rushing against time to get things done.

 

It was a real stressful week of my life, constant worries, plans all thrown off balance, uncertainties on what is going to happen next and what to expect next, all the thousands whats if and whats not. It felt like I have died a thousand times those few days. Even though she is back at home, I had to watch out for her every day and every night to ensure she is all good and to observe that she is not unwell and not telling us. I could not managed a good night sleep. Balancing between not to be too naggy to her giving unforeseen stress yet crucial to remind her on what she need to watch out for. Now it's a matter of recuperating and speedy recovery to nurse her back to good health, praying hard.

Breathe

Yes I had nearly forgotten how to breathe or rather hardly have time even to breathe! I had not even finished my draft here, no updates of our life, the 2 kids and even the full month party, all definitely had to take a backseat and that's if I ever remember to blog about them in time to come, one fine day.

The past week had been pretty trying for all of us and hectic seem to be an understatement here. So what had happened?!! Well basically mum had to leave and we are left alone to fend for ourselves. Yes me alone with 2 kids, a toddler and an infant. I had always thought during my preggy days that tough as it may be, there is always a way to work things out to sail past the days however the 1st 2 days alone proved me more than wrong!

Started getting cold feet 1-2 days before mum left even though we try out being on our own for the weekends and the National Day PH but we are talking about both hub and myself at home and Zethan is not having school on these days. A good start, Yes but in reality, No. It seem pretty manageable but surprise! it is so very tough and exhausting.

On the very first day - 16 Aug 2012, the day was nerve wrecking. Crashing at 2am in the night after exhausting efforts to pacify the infant in bed plus expressing, having to wake up at 6am again is like Hello...did I even sleep? So it's feeding, burping, pumping, housechores, wake Zethan, prepare Zethan for school (brush teeth, milk feed, clean up, changed), changing myself, changing meimei before we can head to school. Don't you feel exhausted just looking at the list of to dos every morning.

Of course it did not stopped there. Sent Zethan to school, walked home, feeding time again, prepare lunch and before you know it, time's up to fetch Zethan! The disadvantage of having 2hours only preschool program and the distance too near for cab or any school bus facility. Then returning home start another mad rush again, fed Zethan lunch and meimei was not at all cooperative by refusing to nap and had to be carried at all times otherwise wailed like being abused when all she did was just being in the cot for 5 mins of eh eh eh.

Post lunch it's trying to fit in bath time for both kids which is mission impossible since meimei cannot be left alone. Zethan had been a very good child by entertaining himself with his toys while I fight with the meimei, trying to put her to nap which you might have guessed it, failed big time. It was then I felt really upset with myself failing a simple task of putting her to nap, felt like such a major failure seriously. Guilt of rushing through Zethan's lunch, delays in his shower and naptime did not make me feel any bit good and only make things worst. I broke down!

I had to leave meimei alone to settle Zethan's shower and naptime, stealing the fastest shower for myself before she protest and scream down the house. Her bath was only managed in the later afternoon. Not to forget trying to steal some time amid the madness to express. I was freaking out big time, stress level hitting the scale of 11 even if it only max at 10, things are not turning out as I thought it would be. Lots of thoughts ran through my mind, what should I do, how do I handle them, how do I cope, do I have to stop breastfeeding, will tomorrow be better and so on and so forth. Wasn't I glad to see the hub home, at the very least an extra pair of hands, to carry meimei when she is at her all time cranky mood.

After some discussion with the hub. he will try to fetch Zethan back from school saving me the trouble to lug meimei there again and I could use the time either to bath her and/or express so that I could focus on the korkor when he is back from school. It somehow worked the following day and I was more than glad that it is friday and followed by long weekend due to Hari Raya holiday so hub will be home for the next 3 days for all of us to settle down.

We have seen great improvements over the past week with meimei over the transitional period, guess she is adjusting too from being used to my mum. Perhaps the scent and voices are different thus she do feel insecure and needed lots more cuddling as before. At least I could put her to nap a few times in the day so having more time to do my chores. I was glad that things appear much better than the fateful 1st day, survived through the 1st week while trying to fine tune the daily routine.

Thankfully meimei can be declared officially as slept through the night from about 6 weeks similar to Zethan. Having said that it take her quite a while to settle down in bed after her last feed and I could only turn in for the night after expressing, again it's like 2am on a good day. I am not complaining here and was grateful to have 4-5 hours of undisturbed sleep before her next feed in the morning. I have learnt to sleep through my engorgement rather than waking to express which is for sure bad for the supply, sleep is so deprived and so precious now it's considered as a luxury.

I must have think too highly of myself thus the higher the expectation, the greater the disappointment which set me thinking "what have I got myself into?!!" Have I been too hard on myself? Regardless of whatever it is, I would still need to cope and handle myself. Tomorrow will be a better day, definitely! Need to be optimistic!

Birth Story

The night before was pretty rough,  it just feel so surreal as though there's a thousand things not prepared and done as yet, pretty much in denial. Emotions swing highest possible, crying in the shower for whatever reason it is, even looking at Zethan make me cry! Last minute quick check on the hospital bag, gathering baby stuff ready for discharge, passing messages to mum for baby's and Zethan's. Hit the sack only close to 3am after a nice shower with the alarm set for 7am!

THE morning....

Woke up as planned, took a good shower and hair wash before the horrifying confinement with no-daily-shower-and-hairwash! Zethan woke up early with us too which is pretty usual. The saying goodbye part to Zethan was so very overwhelming that it still brought tears to my eyes now after 2 weeks. Took a last picture of my preggy self with him, kissed goodbye and mumbled a quick "be a good boy okie, see you later" and had to dash out of the house not turning for a 2nd look at him fearing I will breakdown infront of him & mum. As soon as the door is closed, tears just flowed down and hub was a little shocked. Can't seem to control myself even having breakfast at the coffee shop, having my coffee and the short journey to the hospital. I felt extremely upset having to leave Zethan at home and not sleeping with him for the next 2 nights and how he is not going to be our only love anymore the next I were to see him.

9.10am - Reached Mount Alvernia (very peaceful and quiet on sunday morning) while hub went to park the car.

9.15am - went up to Our Lady's ward to say hello to Sis. Wee and let her know I am admitted for induction (she promised to help get the window bed as it's more spacious).

9.30am - 'checked in' Labour ward, brought to suite 3A (did not like it as the toilet is shared, had to make sure locked and unlocked the other door). Took a last picture with the bump before changing, urine sample collection and was strapped to CTG. Was told that woody is in ops, coming down soon. Started surfing channels on TV.

10 am - Woody arrives and did VE, breaking waterbag with his bare fingers at the same time which caught me by surprise when I feel a warm gush flowing out (had to ask if he break the waterbag). Got the nurse to lock the other door first before inserting fleet enama telling her my last experience that I had to fly soon after administering. Was advised to control at least 1-2 minutes which I did managed this time.

10.20am - midwife insert cannula and set drip and syntocin was given via IV. CTG show only very mild contraction and midwife said I was dilated at 3cm?!! She asked if I am nervous which I am extremely nervous due to not knowing what to expect even though this is my 2nd delivery. She gave assurance to relax and all will be fine, the hub did help to assure that there's nothing to be nervous about too. Hub proceed to do the necessary paperwork in the labour suite.

10.30am - felt more gushes flowing uncertain if it is amniotic fluid or urine thus checked with the midwife. She confirmed it is amniotic fluid and it will continue to flow till labour and they will have to observe the color of the fluid lest baby poop inside. Midwife start to prepare the necessary needed for labour which make me panic for a moment, so early?!!

10.45am - Midwife keep coming in to ask if I felt the contraction and checking CTG which made me even more nervous and paranoid thinking is there anything wrong. Adjust the CTG tighter but still there is not much contraction, pretty irregular.

10.55am - shown the graph that baby is very excited and kicking alot furiously but I do not feel it. Was advised to turn to the left to allow more oxygen to baby hoping to trigger regular contraction. Peak for contraction at around 100 but intensity did not increase, 5-6 minutes apart. Monitor amniotic fluid, still clear which is good. If it is green it would mean baby pass motion inside.

11.18am - Increase dose for syntocin, felt slightly stronger contractions. Asked on how to interpret the CTG reading - one monitoring bb's heartbeat and the other on contraction, anything more than 20 show there is a contraction.

12.15pm - Intensity shorten at 2-3 minutes, midwife said they will not increase dosage too high otherwise would stress the baby. Experience more painful contraction and had to readjust CTG (cos I am lying sideway so it keep shifting offsite) and had BP taken.

2.00pm - VE to check for dilation as ordered by gynae, only 4 cm with intense contractions every 1-2 minutes. I am freaking out slightly as after so many hours, the dilation is only 1 cm. Decide to call for epidural in case of long labour. Read thru the procedures and signed what is necessary. Midwife returned shortly that they contacted woody and was given go ahead for epi. The anaesthetist came quite fast and was very precise in his instructions and 'happidural' was administer very quickly without much pain, over and done with at around 2.20pm. I was instructed to be on laughing gas to make the process comfortable (in his words). Pretty assuring and was advised it might take estimated 30 minutes for epidural to work. In fact within minutes I could not feel the contractions though still able to feel my legs and wriggle my toes.

3.30pm - Insertion of urine catheter and thought can felt that midwife did VE again. Rember asking her if it is normal for me to still feel and able to wriggle my toes to which she said yes cos the epidural dosage was not set very high. Suddenly she said you can push anytime now?!! I was like huh? Do you mean I am fully dilated oready?!! She came back minutes later to say they have contacted woody and as advised to wait for bb to descend further. Panic mode activated, we are going to meet our princess very soon! Can't imagine that from 4-10cm took only an hour, it's like WOW

4.20pm - Midwife did the last necessary preparations, turned on the incubator, wearing their 'PPE' etc. Was told to practise pushing slowly first while waiting for woody to arrive. Gave a light push and was told can see her hair! Hub was scaredy cat, dare not peep to take a look. 5 minutes later, woody arrived.

1637 - With 3-4 hard pushes, our princess arrived and she is loud to announce her arrival. At this instance, tears just flowed, happy tears to know that she is here safe and sound. Woody announced that it is a girl and the cord was around her neck twice and we were lucky to have induced her today. I joked that luckily it is a girl otherwise would have to lelong at pasar malam to which he laughed and said must have done a lot of shopping! Had episiotomy (he said I will help you a little before snipping), assisted delivery using forceps (was told only by midwife post delivery). Midwife reminded hub to take a picture of the time and woody had to tell hub to go take pictures of bb in the incubator as he would not want to see what happened next, not going to be nice! LOL

Heard more crying once she hit the incubator while my tears continue to flow and the hub busy snapping away on the camera, his iphone, my iphone and ipad! Can see woody doing the stitching but my eyes were fixated on the incubator instead totally oblivious to what he is doing next. Minutes later, he is done, congratulated us and left after saying have a good rest patting me on the legs.

After the midwives are done wif their work, princess is brought to latch on. I was made to changed into my PJ and waited to be transfered to the ward after the drip is completed. Told them about the prior arrangement with Sis. Wee for a room in OL which luckily I remembered to inform her as woody had placed me in SR instead. We were transfered to OL 325B at about 6pm with the nurse asking about meals selection and a quick orientation of the whats is and whats not.

The grandma and korkor came visiting at about 8+ in the night and he was really pleased to find his welcome gift from meimei in the bassinet. Took it and immediately guessed what it is, was very happy and wait no more to rip the present. The grandfather came shortly after and was grinning ear to ear as well.

The 3d2n stay wasn't exactly a pleasant one because of a fiery baby as neighbour who could scream and yell till no voice coupled with a snoring mummy and lots of visitors everyday early in the morning, throughout the day. Just my luck to have such inconsiderate neighbour who do not have the courtesy to silent her phone and notification sound through the night.

We forgot totally about taking a photo of bb with myself in the labour suite shortly after her birth, a family picture together and some skin to skin bonding with my princess. Forgot about daddy's intention to cut the cord as well.

A big thank you to my dear friends for visiting amid busy schedule and your generous gifts. We are recovering and coping very well as of now.

Firmed

It's confirmed....bb2 will be induced on 1st July 2012, sunday. We will be checking in at 9am.

The visit was a fast one, check bp, scan. Baby is head down, shown heartbeat, tummy etc. He did spenda little more time scanning around which I assume he is watching for waterbag fluid level. I am still bearing hope that we could wait and see.

Then returning to his desk, another string of questions; are you working? would you be free? etc. Issue admission letter and was asked to meet him at the labour ward. Asked if there is a possibility for us to wait and he advised that most likely once the waterbag level reduce, it will go down further. Most of the time mummies would perfer to have the baby out soon. Meanwhile would need to monitor baby's movements, at least 10 times a day.

Guess I have no choice but to respect his professionalism (hopefully) but I was greatly disappointed about having to induce. It's hard to hold back the tears as we discuss it among ourselves (with the hub). Mixed feelings since I would wish to carry meimei slightly longer in the tummy and have all the excitement noting the signs of labours while on the other hand, knowing a fixed thingy could be a good thing.

Well, all is firmed now so nothing much to ponder and reconsider over again though we did toy with the idea of inducing on 2nd July instead so meimei share the same date as mummy's birthday. On 2nd thoughts, we decide to let it remain and being Youth Day on 1st July, meimei will have school holiday on her birthday all the way till secondary school.

Anyhow I prayed for a short and fast labour, a smooth delivery and meimei will be a happy and healthy baby, nothing matter more than that!

37 weeks

Had our 37 weeks appointment last monday and there was quite a crowd too at the clinic. The boy is sleeping in the car with mom and just nice before my turn come, the hub had to return tothe car cos he just woke up. So I went in for consultation alone and hope that the hub return in time.

Sat down for bp check and was questioned about my choice on Mount Alvernia. He warned that he might not be in time for the delivery seriously and I told him I am aware of the situation and if possible, still prefer my choice of hospital. A string of questions followed, epidural for 1st born, arrive early? any plans for early delivery (induce) etc to which I replied would want to go natural for the last question.

Proceed to scan and was later told that waterbag fluid is a little low thus would need to see him on friday morning for review. If everything is okie then we will wait and see otherwise might have the need for induce. I asked if there is any thing that could be done to improve the situation and was told no since it happen sometimes as baby matured.

I can't helped but feel a little suspicious and started doubting if it could have any relation to my choice of hospital that he is reluctant to go to especially so after the string of questions asked before the scan!! It certainly don't sound good and unwise to doubt the professionalism of your gynae at such advance stage of pregnancy but I could not help it after putting the pieces together. Such a dilemma situation to be in!

Even though it is still a 50/50 case on friday but I do have a very strong feeling that induced birth is going to be confirmed and I do not like it a single bit at all. Google and read online that drinking more water might help so going to give it a try, no harm.

First Love

My first love have been pretty challenging these days.

He turned very rebellious, talking back at us, throwing tantrums, hitting me etc which is quite a jaw dropping period for me since he had never displayed such bad behaviour before and I am the type of mummy who would never ever allowed such attitude. I could not even recall when is the last time he had a meltdown in public, not to mention a pretty severe one.

It doesn't help that I am extremely quick tempered these days thus he had been sent to the naughty corner very frequently lately with lots of wailing, jumping and to my horror screaming!

Certainly hope that this will be a quick passing phase especially with the little sister arriving anytime now so do not wish that these behaviour will be escalated when she come, add on to the problems. Meanwhile I am trying my best to control my temper, provide him with more TLC and trying to close one eye on the not so bad behaviours instead of punishing him for every little issues. Yes I do know that inconsistency is not the ideal way of discipline and setting boundary but still there is a need to balance things up at this crucial moment of time!

36 weeks

I have never ever missed someone so badly during his absence and was so glad that he is finally back! That's referring to my gynae anyway!!! LOL.. 2 simple reasons; the irritating flu that bug me for the almost 2 weeks the moment he goes on holiday and the mystery of did-the-gal-turned?!!

The clinic was really packed mainly because he just came back and I am perspiring buckets and at the verge of melting in the terrible weather while waiting for our turn. It was pretty much a long wait since we reached the clinic for registration late, took us almost close to an hour before getting to see him.

Weird as it is, the moment he see me, he asked - Hows your appetite lately? Told him that it's not very good or rather can't eat much just like the 1st trimester otherwise discomfort and heartburn became my best friends. Checked blood pressure and was reminded to do GBS test. Went for the scan and was so relieved and happy to know that bb2 turned head down!!! However he measured a few times and remarked that baby is a little underweight. This came as a surprise as most of the time, practically almost everything is normal to him. Complained about cramping once again which was again normal and advised to slow down in all that I am doing. He reminded once again to try and eat more. I asked beef and durians to which he replied, durians, ice-cream, chocolate etc. To see him again in a week's time.

BB2's weight was estimated to be around 2.57kg and comparatively among the peers, she is indeed a little smaller at 36 weeks. So officially I fall into the 'cheong' group as opposed to many mummies who fall into the 'banned' group. This could be a good thing since the hub heard it from the horse's mouth and stop accusing of my food intake. Best is when requested to eat something out of craving, no questions asked! Haa

It's been really tough since the past week to walk even at very slow pace as there is tremendous pressure at the V area and just some walking apparently seem to worsen it. Monitoring too on the extra food intake namely durians and beef, crossing fingers that bb2 will gain the weight instead of me which will be a nightmare then again what to do. Tomorrow will be 'judgement day' and hope that bb2 remain head down and gained some weight from the 'cheonging'.

In fact few days back I woke up suspecting that my bump did 'dropped' and appear lower than the day before, just my gut feel. I have a nagging suspicion that this girl will most probably arrive around 38 weeks just like the brother.

Just turned 37 weeks today and started to feel the jitters and cold feet badly despite the fact that this is bb2, in fact worst than Zethan's time. It was only yesterday that we have decided on Z girl's name, bad parents huh, how late can it be. So officially the waiting game start like now and it's her call, anytime from now though secretly I wish for her to stay in for a little while more.

35+ weeks bump

Break



train ride after a long while

ever since the term break started and now that we are nearing the end of it, seriously I felt that I have done nothing much with Zethan and much of the term break so far have been spent on Ipad and watching telly which is very bad.

Had plans to bring him out for a few activities but never really got down to it partially because of both our flu saga so no movies, no ducktours, no POLW sentosa but mostly feasting and shopping!

had wanted to do some activities workbooks with him too but again never even got down to buying them. Yes that's how bad a mummy I can be, Gosh..

Zethan had been quite a handful for the last week or so. What I could not tolerate the most was he is turning to be very rude and leaning towards the rebellious streaks, wonder has it got to do with sensing the arrival of bb2 very soon. I can be high on tolerance on most issues to the extent of closing both eyes and ears turning deaf BUT rudeness is a big no no that burst my tolerance scale. He is talking back at us, using our words against us and throwing tantrum when he does not get his way, all happening within a matter of days, extreme total change which he had never ever been.

I am wondering too if it could be due to the fact that he is observing the various preparations the past week for the sister thus feeling abit left out and jealous about it. I have tried to get him involved in the preps e.g. when doing the laundry, will get his help to load into the washer, keeping the laundry - got his help to place them in the basket etc. Certainly hope that my suspicion is uncalled for.

on the other hand he is still a very much pretty sweet child, saying goodnight to everyone every night without fail including the little sister in the tummy. He will requested to lift up my shirt and say goodnight meimei to the bump and of course I had to reply meimei say goodnight Zethan. An interesting joke which happened a few nights back.

Z - Goodnight daddy
D - Goodnight
Z - huh, Goodnight who?!
D - Goodnight Zethan (with a frown on his face) LOL

Preps

Been having very strong nesting instincts since a few weeks back and had wanted to start on the preparations at home but the hubby keep pushing it back with excuses like too early, stuff get dusty and blah blah blah.

Finally I decide to ignore all these excuses 2 weeks back and started on my 1st load of washing which consists of both new rompers, burp clothes as well as some hand me downs for 0-3 months thereabout. As we are still uncertain on the size of BB2 yet, I have supposed that she will not be a big baby and should be around Zethan's size and birth weight.

The 2nd load of washing was done last weekend and we should have completed what is necessary or required to last us through the 1st 2 months at the very least. I was tempted to do more washing for the bigger size clothing since after confinement, I would be largelt left alone to care for the 2 kids thus leaving very little time for housechores or laundry for that matter. Well, I guess nothing is impossible and we will manage it when the time comes!

The hospital bag is 50% packed at this point of time (1 day shy of 36 weeks) and just this afternoon, got mom to come over and help babysit Zethan while we set up the baby cot and did some organizing in the kids room. So yesh it's another major item down!

Tomorrow will be another laundry day for washing of cloth napkins, cot bumpers, fitted sheets etc. Should time permits, will be washing up the bouncer, infant carseat, swing bed padding etc all the major & bulky items.

by the way did I mentioned that the July mummies are popping fast & furious like popcorns! Mid of june today and we are welcoming the 5th baby, pretty much a strong reminder to get things done FAST!

Herbs

decided to bring forward the purchasing of the confinement herbs to last sunday instead of procrastinating further. It's pretty much a challenging affair in trying to decide the varieties and quantities to purchase since this time we are still not engaging a confinement lady and mum will be hlping out similar to Zethan's time.

asked around for advice from those who have engaged a CL but to no avail so rather than depending on others, I did quite a fair bit of research online on recipes for confinement food especially that of soups as I realised that soups are lacking in the last confinement and is pretty essential during a confinement. To make matter worst, there are many types of 'essential' or typical food that I do not consume e.g. pig's kidney, pig's stomach etc. This time round I am going to give a try at food such as vinegar pig's trotters, pig's stomach soup (not the stomach still) etc. I have been told times and times again that it is important to have a good confinement for the health to get back into good shape especially since this is very likely to be our last pregnancy thus I have requested to mum to have more soup and even double boiled soup for consumption before bedtime.

anyhow back to the topic, after the necessary research done, I have discovered that typically there are just a few types of herbs necessary for cooking and soups and I would not be buying the expensive ones since we have no experiences with them and no basic knowledge as to what is genuine or not. I mean paying for the genuine stuff regardless of the price tag is acceptable but as layman, how do we tell if they are superior, genuine or being chopped like a robert.

so we went to the shop armed with my own shopping list and while we were there, was given another list for reference. I did not purchased the recommended quantities by the vendor too since I gathered I couldn't take too thick or high dosage of the herbs otherwise end up with bad flu like the last confinement as my body constitution belong to the heaty side and coupled with the intense heaty food, the body just breakdown and caused alot of issues.

one more thing down!

Flu

Down with a terrible and massive cold. Wanted to see gynae on Monday but he is already on leave. Its just weird that whenever he is on leave, I would be under the weather.

Caught it from Zethan who is also down with mild fever last week (the first day of term break), recovered 2 days later and flu, cough, phlgem came 3 days later.

No choice but to dig for previous cold medication prescribed by him and there's only 2 tabs left. Had to make a trip to pharmacy for more.

Taking only once before bedtime thus the flu is taking a long time towards full recovery, making me so lethargic and energy level near zero.

Bump

Just realised that I hardly post pictures of my bump or even pictures of me and my bump as opposed to the regular updates during Zethan's time.

So here you go...


29 weeks

29 weeks bump

30 weeks

31 weeks _ Mothers Day

33 weeks - Z took this pic



33 weeks

33 weeks visit on 28 May 2012 estimated weight of 2140g yet the girl still refused to turn or at least hopefully yet to turn ( I am still bearing hopes here). Been trying my best to talk to her, coax her into turning though I need better luck.

Anyway I did checked around and had a talk with one of the experienced expert in the field when I bumped into her last week. I was told that usually for 2nd pregnancy there should be bigger room and space for baby to turn at later stage and it is pretty common to see bb2 turning after 34 weeks. Sound hopefully then!

Been having quite a fair bit of cramps which the gynae say is pretty common and when asked what signs would not be normal, was told about persistent cramps that intensify and turn more regular intervals. We were given till end of June for bb to decide if she would like to turn otherwise might have to fix a date for the big cut (crossing fingers not). He can still joke that perhaps she just want to be different!

The gynae is going on leave for 2 weeks thus the next visit was pushed back to 3 weeks later after his return. The advice for any 'emergency' meanwhile was head straight to KKH should there be any contractions since it would be preterm labour and hospital bills would be highly subsidized there. No worries on the mother's bills usually but more concerns over the cost in NICU for the baby since I would only be around 34/35 weeks then so baby would be expected to be in NICU for a minimum of 1 week supposed without any complication.

Received the delivery booking confirmation from Mount Alvernia, thought I did not received such letter from TMC during Zethan's time. Surprisingly the gynae did not mentioned anything about my decision on Mount Alvernia.

Anyhow this girl is pretty much having a mind of her own. She dislike my sleeping on the left and will protest profusely with lots of kicks and squirms giving me the discomfort. This can also be clearly illustrated with her yet to turn 'protest'. It sound really weird but although this is my 2nd pregnancy, I could not identify her kicks, nudges thus is completely clueless about her orientation totally. Perhaps this is really true that the womb is slightly bigger thus more room for her to move around and the tummy get real humogous real fast.

2nd coconut @ 34W5D

2nd Bird Nest @ 33W

Guilt

Now that we are preparing for the arrival of BB2 and with most of the clothes being handed down, that of a different gender and not too much of hands me down on hand, we tend to buy quite a far bit of clothings for BB2. Of course it was also difficult to find excuses to resist the numerous sales came across and the online spree made easy and available.

Subconsciously we tend to compare with that of Zethan's time and how we are blessed with alot of hands me down be it clothings, feeding accessories and all. It came to a point we or at least I felt extremely guilty that it appear BB2 had some much more new stuff as compared to Zethan! Even the daddy commented why BB2 has so much new things as compared to Zethan! opps...

Because of that I had to make it a point that whenever I am buying for BB2, I would definitely make it a point to get something for Zethan too if not equivalent but trying to balance it up. Wonder if this is what people say no matter what the 1st born would always hold a significant position in mummy's heart. I start to wonder if we as parents should feel bad that the 1st born is going to have divided love and attention with the arrival of the second child or should we feel bad for the second child since she would never ever get the undivided love and attention that the 1st child had all these while.

Am I thinking too much at this point of time, maybe yes, maybe no. I am trying my utmost best to prepare myself being a parent once again to a 2nd child and this time while having to cope with another toddler on hand. The transitional period from 1 to 2 children can be pretty tricky especially how to avoid letting the 1st child feel that he is not being neglected and developing sibling jealousy and rivalry. Even though we can be prepared with a constant reminder on the importance of spending quality time every now and then alone with the 1st child but somehow it could be easier said than done given the fact that newborn demand more time and attention so it could be easily forgotten.

As of now, all I can do is to spend real quality time with Zethan exclusively before the arrival of BB2 amid the fatigue and low energy level that I am experiencing. This month long term break sounds perfect to do just that!

PTC

We attended Zethan's very 1st Parents Teacher Conference on 18 May, a week before the term break. The daddy is very nice to take some time off to attend it together.

In a nutshell, he is pretty much a leader in class alongside with a few others thus 'arguments' can be quite common among them. He is very well developed in his large motor skills and can be quite vocal though at times he loves to rush through his speech and with the power of language not as developed, the teachers need to slow him down to understand what he is trying to tell. Efforts needed in the department of focusing as he is very much overactive and he can perform his tasks very well when he decide to focus but if not then he tend to be very distracted and rush through his work. He need to be reminded from time to time on his over activeness.

We exchange some pointers on my concern on his fine motor skills e.g. colouring etc. It was suggested that we could spent 5mins everyday sitting with him and get him to doodle and for him to dictate what he has drawn. From the 5mins daily, extend gradually to work on his focusing and fine motor skills.

The whole session took more than the scheduled 15mins  and we were given 3 booklets of his artworks as well as schoolwork for semester 1. Personally I would feel that it would be much more appreciative if the workbooks could be returned after every term for a good feel on how the child is doing in school and should there be a need to, work on what is lacking or the weakness of the child for better improvement for the next term. Easier to monitor for progress or non improvements. What is lacking is the involvement of the chinese teacher's discussion on the child's observation too.

Having said that, I am rather pleased with how Zethan fare in school and what he had picked up from school which I must say is very great improvement be it the academic aspect or social development as well as speech development. He will returned home to share what has happened in school, sing some songs etc.

 Last but not least, term break started which can be a great relief to me especially now at 33 weeks, I could rest at home and save a month's of walking to & from school. Or at the very least need not rush in the morning. Zethan ended school with a term break party, all children will bring some snacks for the 1hr party, decked out in their party clothes.

32 weeks

currently stepping into 32 weeks of this pregnancy and all the nagging issues start to surface. 

Lots of pressure at the V area especially so while walking be it fast or slow. Sleeping at night is such a pain as it is just so tough to get the perfect position to conk off and after some hours, there is a need to change position once again lest faced with a numb body and cramp. 

Breathlessness set in as early as 27 weeks and I had attributed it to possible bb2 turning head down / engaged but little did we knew that she have not turned at 28 weeks scan, neither at 31 weeks scan which sent me into a panic mode! As usual, woody's cool reply was it's still early and there is still time. Google and realized there is no fixed and fast rules on when is the latest baby should engaged, some as far as the last hours of delivery. Meanwhile I am trying out coaxing or you can called it nagging every day once or twice a day for bb2 to turn ASAP! It sound abit hopeless for a 2nd time mummy but I do have problem trying to identify the differences between her stretching, elbow nudging and kicking. Well, seriously it's her call now as to whether she would want to turn or refuse to turn, definitely I am still bearing hope she will, hopefully she listens. Next visit in 2 weeks time (33 weeks gestation) so I am crossing my fingers and toes for good news.

Most of the 1st trimester symptoms start revisiting again, heartburn, reflux, giddiness and the long list continues. Body temperature seem to be at all time high and the recent weather only make matter worst. Feeling constantly greasy (the body) despite showering Nth times a day, perspire like there is no tomorrow. My best friends Insomnia and fatigue returned as a tag team leaving me very helpless on most days. Exhausted yet can't get to sleep early and difficulty in waking up in the morning. I am pretty glad that Zethan is having his term break very soon but he appear to be waking earlier and earlier these days so it's as good as null.

I have got to realize that I am not as conscientious in my intake of tonics for bb2 as opposed to Zethan's time. For bb2, I have only started my 1st tonic of homemade doubled boiled chicken essence with paosheng on the 28th week and her 1st bird's nest nearing 30th week. Since then there's about all?!! Being naughty and encouraged by the hot weather, we had our 1st coconut shortly after 30 weeks and trust me, it was really heavenly, cool down the body immediately!

Till date I have put on about 8.8kg for the whole pregnancy and bb2 weight estimated to be about 1.6kg as at the last scan at 31 weeks. Not a very big baby she is going to be, quite average and she have only put on about 300+g since the last visit at 28 weeks.  At this point it could be a good thing since if she is not too big then there's higher chance for her to turn. having said that she is extremely active and can expect alot of movements from her usually the vigorous ones. She tend to protested when I am sleeping on her not so favorable side so imagine the shifting I have to do each night before drifting into lala land.

Preparations for the arrival of bb2 was about 70% completed except for the washing and setting up, buying of confinement herbs and packing of hospital bag. What needed to buy have been bought, what not necessary to buy have been bought too (read as more more clothings for bb2). Planned to start the washing beginning of June. Oh yes one of the most crucial prep has not even been discussed upon; bb2 is still nameless as of now. We have had many people asking about it but guess it's going to take a while more.